Not Ruling

Feels like forever for one to stand up for what they want to do.

Sometimes thinking, am I too young for everything?

Mom and Dad definately has good intentions for me.

What they do was just to protect what's theirs.

I understand.

Every single bit of it.

But sometimes being too protective might just bite onto them back.

Like what is hapenning now.

I do what I want to do.

Limits is what I uphold to strongly.

I know my grounds and I know what is too high to reach.

I m aware He is watching me for I m still sane and mature.

I still need the both of you.

To shower me with unconditional love.

I m losing someone right now.

For I dont want that someone to be you.

Life is heading uphill for some.

But for the unfortunate ones, its shit.

Forgive me for what may seems wrong to you and vice versa to me.

Don't worry. I m still yours as what I was born into.

Your daughter, your friend.

I m still me and thank GOD for that mirical.

I know you are mad.

I know you are sad.

I know you lost hope.

But I dont know to what extend.

Just pray for my success.

Just pray that I'll turn out right.

The way you want to see right.

I love you Mom.

I love you Mom.

I love you Mom.

I love you Dad.

Yesternight

Was out yesternite till late

It was a good nite out after so long of being trap in this cave.

Talked about almost everything.

Randomness....

I like it that way.

Hate to say it but I kinda enjoy the company

I mean he has been away for far too long as I expected

And that sometimes, along the way we just need someone if not many

to be there listennig and motivating us.

I finally figured why I have been so reserved and not doing things that I long to do

Was true what ben said.

Do what you want to do without being restricted.

Shit happens.

But it will somehow brings us back to reality and hence makes us wiser and better.

As a person that is.

No one is perfact so shit it if things does not go as plan.

Stop being the excuse for doing things you crave for.

Instead do it whole-heartedly and that yea, if all things fails,

We know, we were once there.

Doing what we've always wanted to.

Mom and dad, as much as I love you guys,

I want you to respect my space and my actions.

Supporting it would have been a good move.

But going against my doings would have caused you to be in much pain.

Not to worry, I am still sane and thinking and have consciencious.

The chalet has already begun and I am still sitting here,

Looking half past six and not showered yet all ready for the second round of sleep.

Sign.

I wanna go out.

Like freaking rite now.

:P

So where do I stand?

Was talking to Nad bout stuff..

Whilst doing so, I came out with this question,

"Where do I stand?"

Its pretty vake but its all I could think of since 3 hours ago.

Most probably I've been unproductive and that things are just eating up on me.




We talked about everything from school to family to friends to boyfriend.

Why must it be so hard to get through life?

Must it always be this difficult?

What does it takes for us to be happy?

Lots of sufferring and sacrifices?




Some say in order to have a moment of happiness,

One has to face 10 times the shit before.

I chuckled everytime I think of it.

I mean yea it does but why must man put it in such a way where it is so difficult for many

to swallow it?

Perhaps its for self realisation where it slapped right into our face.

3 days more till I celebrate my victory of my longest relationship.




I've been saying these umteem times,

I was quite sketical about this relationship but my skeptism lasted me a whole year.

Perhaps, again, we live with sketism to keep us going.

Keeping us strong and hold on dearly to something we will lose one day.



Two o'clock and I wish that I was sleepin
Your in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is I gotta get next to you
Sittin here turnin minutes into hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
Cause you don't know that I gotta get next to you


Maybe were friends
Maybe were more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little to long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby call me crazy but I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I just gotta get next to you


Extracted from Lyrics "Next to You" ~ Jordin Sparks

It's you

Switchfoot - You

There's always something in the way

There's always something getting through

But it's not me

It's You,

It's You

Sometimes ignorance rings true

But hope is not in what i know

It's not in me..

Me it's in You,

It's in You

It's all i know

It's all i know

It's all i know

I find peace when i'm confused

I find hope when i'm let down

Not in me ... me

In You, it's in You

I hope to lose myself for good

I hope to find it in the end

Not in me ... me

In You

In You

In You

It's all i know

It's all i know

It's all i know

In You

In You

It's in You

It's in You

There's always something in the way

There's always something getting through

But it's not me

It's You

It's You

It's You ....

Sometimes I think to myself, has it always been me?

Was it me who stired the batter?

Wasnt long a wait and answers until I came across this song and I realise that whatever I did was actually about him.

Been a goon all these while!

Been so Kental and a freak blaming myself for selfless actions of rights.

Ahh watever I say.

Not worth the thought and obviously my time.

Darn so bored like fuk.

Work is a dragggggggg.....

But its good cos I m paid to do whatever I want whilst waiting for a guest to approch which fortunately takes 5 million years too!

How cool kan?!

VERY! =D

Pissed Rob yesternite

He was over reacting thats for sure.

But I never mean to hurt him or whatsoever.

I said what I have too.
Perhaps I caught him at a bloody wrong time.
That, I admit.
Ah well, its cool now so lets put that one corner.


I wish some handsome dude come rescue me and sweep me off my feet from this coldroom. ( My workplace that is!)
Its only 535 and I HAVE to be HERE till 10.
My luck.
My day.
I am happy.
NOT!

Ciao

Not to forget...

ohhhhh...Not to forget farewell to the S buds.

Well you guys have obviously been great and always cheering and making a fool of one's self.

I hate to admit but sometimes I do like and enjoy doing so. (Making a fool that is!)

Special credits to these people...

Mable - For always being there for me

Bru - For making me feel like his mother

Nicol - For being a good friend

Jas - For challenging me till I have to declare myself a wrestler

Bebe - For always wanna touch my boobs!

Wing - For being a sucker yet a good listener

Arjun - For being a cute starbucks guy

Madhu - For the sticks and relationship shit we shared

Ashley - For being a cute Muitai dude...

There are many many more to thank but because of the fact I m lazy, I apologise for leaving some people out. You guys have been great anyway. SO cool and really laid back. Close to the nature I possess.

So thank you once again. We will definately meet up as always and share more silly jokes together! Farewell and all the best with the new classmates and friends.

Loving you guys always....

Kai

Farewell W45P

I swear I m going to miss you guys.

Thanks for making my days in school so memorable.

Firstly to Miss Fee, thanks for hearing me out for everthing.

I know I m kental and all but you still stood to listen.

Thanko babe ;P

Secondly Miss Maira, thanks too for being a great budd.

Up to crazy things and laughing at our classmates like pelat hua hua and tak

boleh angkat Jason! Whahaaaa....

And lastly, thanks for sharing with me everything and always caring.

You shone yet again darl! =)

To the rest of W45P

You guys have been great and that it is definately a great learning journey with all of you.

It would never be the same again without you guys.

Trust me! Imma doctor ;P

Loving you guys always!

Tilda and Wish you guys all the best in Life!

Rule the World

I've always wanna rule the world.

You know like make this place a better place.

Nothing comes it perfact.

So its up to us all to make this place a place enjoyed by you and me.

Digresssssssssssss........

I m rather confuse of to where my love life is going to.

Where exactly are we heading to?

Where in the future do you see us?

In exactly 10 days,

I am officially with Rob for 1 whole year.

Its hard to believe we went this far.

Not saying I m pessimistic about it in the first place.

Just thinking about it fascinates me.

Sometimes I think you deserve to be with someone who will be there for you at all time.

Sometimes I think you deserve to be companied.

Sometimes I think I am being all selfish.

Keeping you to myself when there is definately someone out there who could be

closer to you in distance and could love you more.

I definately have issues with myself.

I definately have alot to think of right now.

Of exactly where we are heading and where we stand in each other's life.

Hope you understand.

Loving you always

Sweets!

RobertRob4Kai
Carved on Wood, Inscripted in the Heart

Down Town...

Caught up with Uncle Brendan, Aunt Cornnie and Annika yesterday for supper at Raffles Creamery. Had Hazelnut frappucino with M&Ms and marshmellows. De-li-si-o-so! If only I could have the whole of Raffles Creamery here in my home would I be the luckiest person! =P

Was good to catch up with them. The whole conversation revolved around my boyfriend. Rob dee bob. Seriously at that very moment, all I wanna do is to run to the airport and check myself in. I miss you like crazy!

Talked till late as always with him yesterday and guess what, I put him into deep sleep. Hung up the phone and went to bed. Missed school today. Went to the airport to send Brendan's family off. Was sad to see them leave but happy to know that I will be seeing them there in Perth soon in months to come. =)

I need to know something, someone. I need to know what is it that you are looking for into me. You have to tell me. I need to know. I am waiting for that someone to speak up. I am waiting for that someone to spill the beans and tell what that someone is hidding from. I need to know.

De bug!

What's worst then getting caught with the flu bug and sent to bed for two darn whole day! Freak aye! This package includes fever, cold of cos, headaches and sore throat! Enough to turn you bulimic for 10 years! Did i mention cough that has higher chances to getting tuberculosis? So there you go, a generous package for me from god. I deserve it though.

Talked to Rob til late last night. More like our usual routine to be blunt. Miss him more now that I cant see him this summer. What a way to celebrate our 1 year. Love you Mister. Nope, its you. No one else. =)

Felt feverish when I wake up this morning. Not a feeling you wish to have to start the day. Missed culture and cognitive. Two of my favorite modules. Just my day. Just my luck.

Meeting Rob's aunt and uncle and Annika tomoro at Raffles Creamry for supper. Yum sobe and ice-cream enough to make me put on 20 pounds! Its gonna be sinful i tell you. Marshmellows, gummy bears, hazelnuts, almonds and many many many more! Drools.....


tilda!

Kaiii